Queen of the Unwanted Page 28

  “To be cuckolded in Nandel is a shame greater than you can imagine,” Zarsha answered, his tone nearly as flat as Ellin’s. “Waldmir had no desire to publicly declare his humiliation.” Zarsha cleared his throat. “Also, Brontyn herself had a certain flare for learning secrets, and we laid the foundation of our own protection before we laid each other. For all my uncle’s pride in his manly prowess, he is unable to perform his conjugal duties without the aid of a potency potion. It is entirely possible he would be unable to hold the throne were that fact to come out in public. Brontyn and I made certain that if we were to die—either by execution or by ‘tragic accident’—that information would be made public.”

  “Unable to hold the throne?” she asked in incredulity. “I understand that in Nandel there is a great resistance to the use of women’s magic, but surely that is an exaggeration.”

  “It’s ridiculous, but no, it’s not an exaggeration. If he cannot perform in the marital bed without the help of women’s magic, then there are those who would argue he is functionally a woman. And you know a woman’s place in Nandel society.”

  Ellin had always been well aware that Nandel was a forbidding and repressive place for women, and she had dreaded having to adjust to their expectations of womanly behavior when she’d thought she’d be living there as Zarsha’s wife—his literal property. She had not, obviously, appreciated the true depths of Nandel’s hatred of women.

  “His enemies—of which there are quite a few,” Zarsha continued, “would also argue his use of women’s magic is the reason he has had only daughters, although I’m certain he did not always need the potions.”

  “So you and his wife willfully took advantage of this knowledge to embark upon an affair.” The huskiness of her voice revealed some of her feelings, no matter how hard she tried to rein them in, but Zarsha either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

  “It wasn’t so cold-blooded as you make it sound. I had met Brontyn during my stay at court in Grunir. We became quite fond of each other during my months there, and I petitioned Waldmir for permission to offer for her.”

  Ellin knew the spike of jealousy in her heart was entirely hypocritical when Zarsha had so gracefully tolerated her love affair with Graesan, but such knowledge did not cause the jealousy to recede. Logic told her that Zarsha had to have had multiple lovers before he had offered for her hand, but she had not allowed herself to think that he might have previously loved another.

  “Waldmir was unable to steal my mother from my father, but there was nothing I could do to prevent him from stealing Brontyn from me. She begged Waldmir to release her and openly wept at the altar. But he wanted her, so he took her.”

  “And you both conspired to punish him for it.”

  Zarsha shuffled his feet awkwardly. “We didn’t think of it that way. We thought only of how we could have each other with as little risk as possible. But whether we allowed ourselves to acknowledge it or not, I think you are right. I think our affair had as much to do with spite as with love.”

  “So you loved her, then.” The jealousy spiked again.

  He rubbed his face with both hands, then ran one of those hands through his hair. “If I had loved her as I ought, I would have stayed far, far away. But I was too selfish to see that.”

  “And because of that, she is now a whore in the Abbey of Nandel.” It was the fate of all divorced women throughout Seven Wells to be banished to abbeys, but the Abbey of Nandel had a uniquely unpleasant reputation. Better than a traitor’s death, perhaps, but not by much.

  Zarsha’s whole body jerked. “I may have acted selfishly, but not that selfishly. When Waldmir discovered our affair, I threatened to tell all if he forced Brontyn into the Abbey. We reached a compromise wherein she was sent to the Abbey, but somehow never did arrive. She lives in Grunir under an assumed name now. I haven’t seen her in years.

  “Because of all I know about him, Waldmir doesn’t dare strike out at me. The problem is that he hates me for it—and that he also has a hostage for my good behavior.”

  “Your daughter,” Ellin whispered.

  “Maybe,” Zarsha said. “Only women’s magic can answer the question of which of us fathered her, and though my uncle could get hold of such a spell, he has chosen not to. He doesn’t really care, you see. He considers her tainted whether she’s my child or not. And anyway, she’s nothing but one more useless girl to him. So we each have a weapon against the other, and that makes for a never-ending game of cat and mouse.

  “I should have told you the truth long ago, but the story does not reflect especially well on me.”

  “And you were not certain I would be as protective of the child as you are.” She reminded herself that Zarsha had seen her commit cold-blooded murder—and an especially gruesome one at that—and therefore was very much aware of her capacity for ruthlessness.

  “I know you would not recklessly endanger an innocent,” he said. “But I also know you are a good queen, and that if Waldmir were to back you into a corner and you felt it necessary for the good of the kingdom, you would use every weapon available to counter him. I am putting my own life and the life of a helpless child in your hands by telling you any of this.”

  And truly knowledge was the most dangerous weapon of all.

  “So it wasn’t merely out of fear that I would not want to marry you if I learned you were an adulterer,” she said acidly and had the satisfaction of seeing him wince.

  He was silent for a long moment. “I won’t pretend the thought never crossed my mind,” he said, appearing to address the toes of his shoes. “I did not want you to think ill of me. I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive my vanity.”

  “You should leave now,” she said coldly by way of answer. “I suppose I’ll come to thank you someday for reminding me not to believe someone is worthy of my trust just because he claims to love me.” She should have learned that lesson by now, after betrayals by her father, her grandfather, and Graesan, all of whom had claimed to love her. And yet once again, she’d given her trust to a man who did not deserve it.

  “I’m sorry,” Zarsha said, his misery plain to see. But when she didn’t answer, he obeyed her command and left her alone.

  * * *

  —

  Jalzarnin stood on the dock and watched as Mairah’s ship cast off. He kept his hands clasped casually behind his back, and tried not to look longingly at the railing by which she stood. He doubted anyone had believed his claim that he’d come to the coastal city of Tidewater to visit his ailing aunt—although he had, naturally, looked in on her—but he was making the lie all the more blatant by seeing her off like this. It was possible she was sailing out of his life for good, and he could not bear to let her go any sooner than necessary.

  Even watching from the corner of his eye, he could see her obvious delight and excitement as the ship bobbed gently on the harbor’s small waves. The wind blew her robes and wimple every which way and would doubtless fill the sails without the aid of any magic. How free she looked! Though, of course, it was just an illusion. The king had insisted that she and Sister Norah be accompanied by an “honor guard,” but those men were not there for Norah’s and Mairah’s good. They would keep a close eye on both women, making sure they had no chance to escape or do anything that might embarrass their kingdom. And one of those guards had another, very much unofficial mission: if Mairah failed in her quest, she would never make it back to Khalwell alive.

  Abruptly, Jalzarnin turned away from the ship, unable to look at Mairah even from a distance after the special arrangements he had made. Though really, it was for her own good. If she failed, the king would very likely take his frustrations out on her, and she might find herself spending the rest of her life in the dungeon. Right alongside Jalzarnin himself. Better for everyone, really, if she did not return, if she suffered some mysterious accident before anyone knew of her failure.

/>   But of course she would not fail, he consoled himself. Everything he knew about doctrine told him that Sister Melred’s vision meant the Creator wanted Mairah to be sent to Women’s Well. And that meant she would find the secret to reversing the Curse. Then both she and Jalzarnin would rise into the king’s highest esteem. She would be confirmed as abbess, and for a blessed while, he would not have to watch his back so closely.

  The fear that he would never see her again was just a symptom of nerves, not any kind of premonition. Premonitions were women’s magic!

  He did not, however, like the uncomfortable feeling that too much of Mairah’s success depended on Sister Norah. Mairah had warned Norah that she had taken precautions to ensure the Mother of All cultists would be exposed if something were to happen to her during the journey, but surely Norah guessed that Mairah had rested her faith in Jalzarnin. Which meant she might also realize that Jalzarnin could not afford to turn her in for fear the scandal would sink both himself and his family thanks to his association with the Abbey. If that was so, then Jalzarnin’s special arrangement was nothing but a waste of good coin, for Mairah might not even live long enough to reach the mainland.

  Vowing to himself that he would find some other way to avenge Mairah if Norah should betray her, he left the docks.

  Part Two

  THE MISSION

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Kailee Rah-Kailindar arrived in Women’s Well on a fine, temperate winter day that showed the fledgling principality to its best advantage, but though the sun was shining, Alys was struggling to hold on to hope. At Chanlix’s urging, Tynthanal had been trying potions at such an accelerated rate that he was left sleepless and surly—and still unable to sire children. He seemed to Alys almost relieved at the failure, although he was fully aware of what this marriage could mean for all of them and promised to keep taking the potions until all hope was lost.

  Kailee was escorted by her stepmother, Lady Vondelmai, and by a sizable entourage of guards and servants, as befitted a woman of her stature. After a stilted and formal greeting in the new palace’s grand reception room—which Alys was aware was not as grand as that of any other palace in Seven Wells—Alys made the unconventional move of inviting Kailee to join her for an afternoon tea, just the two of them. Lady Vondelmai seemed at least mildly annoyed—and perhaps even suspicious—that she was not included in the invitation. However, even at the formal reception, where very little of any real consequence was said, Alys could see Kailee’s stepmother had a habit of speaking for and over the girl. If Alys was to have any hope of convincing Kailee to stay in Women’s Well even if Tynthanal could not marry her, she had to learn as much as she could about her, and that she could not do under Lady Vondelmai’s regard.

  Alys waited nervously until her guards informed her Kailee had arrived and been made comfortable in the parlor of the royal residence. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach—as if she were about to meet her own suitor—and she couldn’t stop herself from looking into a mirror and fussing at a few wisps of hair that had escaped her headdress before venturing forth. So much rested on young Kailee and the security she could bring to Women’s Well.

  A palace guard threw the parlor door open for her, and after one last deep breath, Alys stepped inside.

  Kailee Rah-Kailindar was as beautiful as Ellin had described, with an elfin, heart-shaped face and a delicate but nicely curved figure. The only fault Alys could find was the short dotted veil that hung from her headdress and reached to the bridge of her nose. If the veil were lightly dotted net, it might have been fashionable, if a little matronly for a girl her age. However, it was heavy enough to hide all but the faintest shadow of her eyes. It was perhaps meant to hide her blind eyes, but Alys thought it drew even more attention to the strangeness.

  “Thank you for joining me,” Alys said as Kailee made an elegant curtsy. Alys had the impression her eyes were modestly lowered, though she could not tell for sure because of the veil.

  “Thank you, Your Royal Highness,” Kailee replied softly. Even her voice was melodious, and Alys thought it a shame that the noble families of Seven Wells dismissed her out of hand for her blindness. A girl of her beauty and lineage should have had her pick of Rhozinolm high society instead of living in constant fear of being banished to the Abbey of the Unwanted.

  “I hope your journey was uneventful,” Alys said.

  Kailee smiled. “As uneventful as a journey over both land and sea can be,” she said. “I’d never been to the sea before.” The smile turned wistful. “I will remember the sounds and smells in my dreams for the rest of my life.”

  Having lived on the coast until she’d come to Women’s Well, Alys had long taken the sea for granted, and she felt a slight pang of sorrow that she might never see waves crashing to shore again. Maybe someday in the distant future, it would be safe for her to set foot outside of Women’s Well once more, but that certainly would not be the case anytime soon.

  “Please sit,” Alys invited, reflexively gesturing toward the sofa on which Kailee had been awaiting her, then grimacing when she realized the girl could not see the gesture.

  Kailee sat confidently, not fumbling to find the sofa, and spread her skirts around her neatly. She was elegantly dressed in sea green silk studded with tiny seed pearls, the picture of feminine beauty and grace. And none of it would matter to Tynthanal, who would see only that she was not Chanlix. His greeting at the reception had been brief and painfully awkward, though Lady Vondelmai’s insistence on speaking for her stepdaughter was at least partially to blame.

  A tea tray was set out on the table before the sofa, and as Alys took her own seat, she saw that there was a mostly full cup and saucer in front of Kailee. Alys poured a cup of her own, making sure to make enough noise for Kailee to guess what she was doing. She smiled with satisfaction when Kailee picked up her cup and took a delicate sip.

  “I hope you don’t think it’s terribly rude of me to meet you privately like this,” Alys said. “I fear I might have unintentionally insulted your stepmother.”

  “My stepmother is insulted by my very existence,” Kailee answered with shocking frankness. “I’ve heard her yell at my father more than once for not sending me to the Abbey, where she feels I belong. This whole journey has been a sore trial for her.”

  Alys blinked, startled, for everything about Kailee screamed of a demure and soft-spoken young woman well acquainted with the expected social graces. But no shy young miss would speak so plainly to a total stranger—especially when that stranger was a sovereign princess. Suddenly, she understood Vondelmai’s reluctance to let Kailee speak, although she still did not approve.

  Kailee might not see Alys’s face, but she had no difficulty reading Alys’s momentary hesitation, her smile turning impish in a way that reminded Alys uncomfortably of Jinnell.

  “There’s more than one reason my father considers me unmarriageable,” Kailee said with a modest drop of her chin. “I’ve a bad habit of being uncomfortably plainspoken. My apologies.”

  “Nonsense,” Alys said as her heart squeezed in her chest. Kailee had little in common with Jinnell, save a similar age and that one slightly impish smile, but suddenly Alys missed her daughter with a fiery intensity.

  Not now, she mentally scolded herself, exasperated with the sneak attacks of grief that were now a constant part of her life. She cleared her throat, struggling to keep her emotions out of her voice.

  “I don’t consider frankness a flaw in a woman,” Alys said, trying for a tone of droll humor. “I assure you, my father was often exasperated with me, but I find it preferable for a woman to speak her mind rather than force those around her to guess what she is thinking.”

  “Or allow those around her not to concern themselves with what she is thinking?”

  Alys smiled despite herself. “Just so.”

  Kailee reached up and rubbed the bridge of her nose, where the
edge of her veil met her skin. “If that is so, would you mind terribly if I fold back the veil? My stepmother insists I must always wear it down when in public, but the constant tickle is driving me mad.”

  “Be my guest,” Alys said, bracing herself for fear the veil hid something hideous. Instead, she saw pleasingly almond-shaped eyes with a frame of lush lashes, though the pupils were a milky white that made it look like her Mindseye was open. Not so long ago, Alys might have taken those eyes as something shocking, but a woman with her Mindseye open was hardly an unusual sight in Women’s Well. “The veil is not necessary here.”

  “I feel certain Lady Vondelmai will disagree,” Kailee said with a rueful smile.

  “I take it you and your stepmother are not especially close.”

  Kailee blushed deeply, her shoulders hunching ever so slightly. “Forgive me, Your Royal Highness,” she said. “One consequence of being told from an early age that I am unmarriageable and bound for the Abbey is that I have never been as constrained by social niceties as I should be. I…” She shifted on the sofa, putting down her teacup and clasping her hands together in her lap. “I did not intend to speak ill of my stepmother. She has always been kind to me. She is just terribly concerned about being proper.” Her impish smile made a return appearance. “Something at which I admit I am not especially skilled.”

  Alys suspected that under different circumstances, Tynthanal might have liked this girl quite a lot, for he certainly seemed to enjoy Chanlix’s often tart tongue. Though if Alys couldn’t find a fertility potion that worked, she supposed Tynthanal’s feelings would be the least of her worries.

  “You’ve come to the right place, then. Maidenly propriety is not the point of emphasis in Women’s Well that it is elsewhere in the world. And it is because of that that I wanted to speak to you privately about a delicate matter which might ordinarily be deemed an inappropriate topic of conversation between two ladies.”